Poems: The Beloved

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What Michael Taught

February 5, 1976
[I wrote this when I was confused and frustrated that a man I was intensely attracted to was being very loving on one level, while being clear he was not interested in a sexual/romantic involvement.]

love desires, yearns passionately, is never fulfilled.

          Love asks nothing, being totally fulfilled.

love is intense

joy-sorrow

pleasure-pain

together-separate

ever-changing

ever anxious

          Love is blissful, eternal union, unchanging, ever peaceful.

love feels a separation,

reaches out for closeness in body and emotion

Love feels no separation:

relating to all “others” as manifestations of one’s Self.

love makes distinctions among whom it can love.

Love is without distinction: for all beings unreservedly

love is selfish, a taking, an attachment.

Love is self-less: giving without attachment.

Love knows that ultimately

giver and receiver are One.

Tantrics’ Embrace

Summer Solstice, 1999, inspired by an image [or ancient memory?] in meditation.
sitting by the fire entwined breathing as one

flickering flames dance in your eyes your ancient eyes

deeply knowing life’s mixture of pleasure and pain
fingers finding nape of neck

noses grazing cheeks and eyelids murmurs and purrs
bellies full of breath

phalluses filling from overflowing hearts

reaching to find to touch to connect to enter

your eye-fire glows brighter

gentle gazes piercing my layers

smiling on my tender boy self

seeing my strong soaring man spirit

hugs growing harder

moaning, groaning

moving now in horizontal waves

limbs reaching touching every part fully enfolding

lips lingering licking ear lobes

tongue tips touching cock tips gliding in groins
you look longer deeper into my soul

tears flow forth eye-ooze like pre-cum from the heart

the heart aching

only

to go deeper

in Being

with you.

061913

My heart broke…

wide open.

A heart must break…

to grow.

A shell shelters…

throw the shutters open!

Let the LIGHT pour in…

purring.

How many hours are ours?

How many days or years?

Not nearly enough…?

One awake moment

is enough

is perfect.

with what eye do I see my beloved?

with his eye, not with mine.

for none sees him except himself.

Ibn ‘Arabi [1165-1240],
Sufi mystic, Spain

27 July 2013

[after Ziji’s and my 3-day retreat on Gambier]:

My cup is full…

  and great-full.

The Beloved has come to me

  in the most beguiling guise

  looking like a mere mortal.

He has set my heart aflame

not for his mere bag of bones

but for the love that flows

from his pure heart

the light that shines

from his dark eyes.

May he bless many as he has blessed me.

May the whole world be ablaze with Love.

 July 29, 2013

I SAW TWO BIRDS

Hafiz (trans. Ladinsky)

Both of our mouths

Can fit upon this flute I carry.

My music will sound

So much sweeter that way.

With your breath and my breath

Poking each other in the ribs

And kissing.

I saw two birds on a limb this morning

Laughing with the sun.

They reminded me of how

We will one day exist.

My dear,

Keep thinking about God,

Keep thinking about the Beloved

And soon our nest will be the

Whole firmament.

Forget about all your desires for truth,

We have gone far beyond that,

For now it is just –

Pure need.

Both our hearts are meant to sing.

Both our souls are destined to touch

And kiss.

Upon this holy flute

God carries.

~~~

i thank You God for most this amazing day:

for the leaping greenly spirits of trees

and a blue true dream of sky;

and for everything

which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,

and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth

day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay

great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing

breathing any–lifted from the no

of all nothing–human merely being

doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and

now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

e.e. cummings
1894-1962

4 Aug 2013

The Wheel of Love and Loss

Joy/excitement as we come together again after time apart,

Heat/passion in love-making,

Grieving after parting;

letting go of the physical closeness…

really allowing/welcoming sadness,

Dying/abandonment/fear/coldness,

Always in the middle of that horizontal wheel,

the Timeless vertical axis of pure being and love…

SatChitAnanda…

The Now

Awake Heart Mind

THE GUEST HOUSE

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

 The dark thought, the shame, the malice.

meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

— Jelaluddin Rumi,
translation by Coleman Barks

~~~

Go Deeper than Love

Go deeper than love, for the soul has greater depths,

love is like the grass, but the heart is deep wild rock

molten, yet dense and permanent.

Go down to your deep old heart, and lose sight of yourself.

And lose sight of me, the me whom you turbulently loved.

Let us lose sight of ourselves, and break the mirrors.

For the fierce curve of our lives is moving again to the depths

out of sight, in the deep living heart.

 ~ D.H. Lawrence ~
(excerpt from Know Thyself, Know Thyself More Deeply)

18 Aug 13

[after returning from Shambhala Weekthun retreat at Mahood Falls, BC]:

each thought, each being

a cloud condensed from clear blue sky

seems separate, solid,

then dissolves again

into the vast, invisible, limitless

empty space

of Awake Heart Mind.

20 August 2013, Ziji wrote:

“The clear bead at the center

changes everything.

There are no edges

to my loving now.

You’ve heard it said

that there’s a window that opens

From one mind to another.

But if there’s no wall,

there’s no need

For fitting the window,

or the latch.”

Rumi

24 Sep 13

“Loving is a letting go

a wish to see another grow…believing…

a letting go that doesn’t mean a leaving.”

Letting go

letting grow

letting flow

Believing!

~~~

28 Aug 2013

Two smudge sticks smolder

red embers glow on two tips.

My sage’s smoke

mixing, mingling, merging

in your sweet grass’.

Two souls in

mutual cleansing

dancing

blessing.

The Day Sky ~ Hafiz

Let us be like

Two falling stars in the day sky.

Let no one know of our sublime beauty

As we hold hands with God

And burn

Into a sacred existence that defies –

That surpasses

Every description of ecstasy

And love.

~~~

Faithful Lover

The moon came to me last night

With a sweet question.

She said,

“The sun has been my faithful lover

For millions of years.

Whenever I offer my body to him

Brilliant light pours from his heart.

Thousands then notice my happiness

And delight in pointing

Toward my beauty.

Hafiz,

Is it true that our destiny

Is to turn into Light

Itself?”

And I replied,

Dear moon,

Now that your love is maturing,

We need to sit together

Close like this more often

So I might instruct you

How to become

Who you

Are!

~~~

14 February  2014:

The magic is not knowing

when you will appear.

I keep my red feeder clean and full

an ever-ready welcoming vessel

for your probing tongue.

Suddenly from nowhere you’ll dart in

and dance around my many openings

as if undecided about which will be the most

succulent satisfying sips.

Sometimes you stay and drink deep.

Most often you’re gone

in an iridescent flash

always too soon

and for too long.

During the deep freeze

I feared you’d frozen,

and was deeply sad.

Why would I grieve only you

when countless unknown beauties

would have also perished?

Because you’ve tamed me,

as the Little Prince learned from the fox.

You’ve allowed me a glimpse of

your radiant beauty

and now you’re “mine”

though I’ll never own you.

Then one morning, joy!

You were suddenly silently sipping again

as if no time had passed.

So I am gradually discovering:

the joy is in your unexpected appearance.

Were you here all the time,

I’d stop admiring you,

just take you for granted.

It’s your absences

that make your sudden appearance so powerful.

My learning is to let go

to delight in the dance

to trust the Source

of the hum in your

hummingbird heart.

Pure generous radiance

Before I chose my face for this world

even before the shape of my heart

and certainly before the arch of my preferences

There I was

all Truth

pure

generous

radiance

streaming ever outward

from the beginning to eternity

and I knew:

I am of Light, The Light, I am Light.

Now in the crook of my day

in the coal of my desires

heart open or heart closed

tender or tired

still or wild

like a fist or a field,

Here I am

all Truth

pure

generous

radiance

streaming ever outward

from the beginning to eternity

and I know:

I am of Light, The light, I am Light.

~ Danielle LaPorte

September, 2016

[after a deeply soulful retreat on Gambier w/Ziji.]

Moods come and go.

Passions ebb and flow.

Only in the deepest heart

is the love I’ll always know.

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